Let us begin to discuss the Three Treasures. One of the treasures, of course, is the Buddha himself. We can find a modicum of peace in knowing that each and every one of us has Buddha nature within. At least we like to think so. The reality is, most of us are more likely to be as Buddha Records: out of money, out of business, and, in a word, defunct. Or is it defunked?

The Zenish master and his prize student walked out of the monastery and headed down the path toward town. Each carried a small wreath made from flowers grown at the Zenish Monastery Bubba Ho-Tep Memorial Garden.

As the two walked along, passing from wooded area to farm to town, the student and master discussed and pondered and discussed some more.

"But Master," asked the student, "we Zenish sort of follow the Eightfold Path, do we not?"

"We do, sort of, yes," came the Master's reply.

"And the Eightfold Path speaks to us of purposeful living, does it not?"

"It do."

The student went quiet momentarily, puzzled by the Master's use of bad grammar. His mind could not always fathom the Master and his ways. The student shook his head slightly and returned his focus to the matter at hand.

"Master, if I may continue. One of the precepts of purposeful living is right action. And right action is nonviolent. We must never kill, Master."

"This is true," said the Master. "Why, whenever I shoot at the squirrels that dig in the Bubba Ho-Tep Garden and chew through the stalks of my tomato plants..." The voice of the Master drifted off as he grew angrier and angrier at the thought of those vermin destroying his hard work, but eventually the Master recovered his sense of peace and continued speaking. "As I was saying, whenever I shoot at the squirrels who bring havoc to the garden, I aim to miss, never to hit. It is never the goal of the Zenish to cause death." Then he muttered under his breath, "Once in a while death might be okay for a rat in a fancy costume."

"What was that last part, Master?"

"Oh, I was just commenting what a lovely day it is."

The student looked askance at the Master and said, "Yes, it is a lovely day. But please, Master, the question before us: How can we celebrate death when we advocate peace and nonviolence?"

As the two Zenish monks entered the town they could see the statue in the town square and quickened their pace in that direction.

The Master spoke. "We here, in this country, we are free to think our Zenish thoughts, such as they are, yes?"

"Yes," was the students reply.

"No one tells us how to think. And we are free to practice the ways of the Zenish, are we not?"

"Yes."

"And I am free to shoot squirrels, I mean shoot at them, without hitting them of course, merely frightening them, with my legally obtained high powered hunting rifle?"

"We have many freedoms, yes, Master. We have many freedoms here, unknown and even unheard of in many other lands."

The two robed figures slowed their pace and then stood before the towns statue. The sculpture, a representation of a soldier standing at ease but still gazing vigilantly into a never ending distance, was from long ago, from what they then called the Great War. Since then, there were many other times for men and women to take up arms, and the statue was dedicated to all those who served in the military. They stood for a minute or two until the master broke the silence.

"We have many things, including the right to disagree. Sometimes to guard against those who would take away our freedom to be Zenish, there are those who take up the sword on our behalf. It is sad that this must be done, but that is reality. And on Memorial Day, we do not praise the sword, or the bloodshed, but those willing to protect our way of life, even at the cost of their own."

"I think I understand now, Master."

The two lay down their wreaths, looked up at the eternally young doughboy, said a silent thank you, then turned to walk back to the monastery.

No brilliant thought today - Zenish writers waiting for Jim Nabors to sing "Back Home Again in Indiana" at Indy. When that happens, then we'll all know it really is Memorial Day weekend.

A holiday weekend is a good time to slow down the pace of your life. Listen to what the voice of your soul is telling you. No, no, no...ignore that stuff about killing squirrels with a high powered rifle...no, that's crazy talk...no, no, no you cannot plant small, squirrel-sized land mines in your garden...oh, good grief!

To walk between heaven and earth one must walk through the gateless gate. A gate without a gate isn't really a gate. It's nothing. And that's the point. Of something. I just forget what.

Rain provides a cleansing for the earth and it's inhabitants, a rebirth for all. After this continual, daily downpour though, you may be waterlogged and it might be a good idea to scrape that moss off your north side.

Rain falls. Water is purity. Unless it floods your basement, making things way less than pure.

We are all one with the universe. We are everything. Everything is us. And yet, our jeans still fit.

I think Zendo would be a good name for a child.

The Rapture Loot Party at the Zenish Monestary has been cancelled. There will still be a Happy Hour beginning at 5:00 at the Zenish Power of Positive Drinking Bar and Grill.

No Zenish thought for today...too busy preparing to burn and loot while others ascend to heaven during the Rapture.

The goal of spiritual practice is to become the friend of all beings. Each person a friend. And every one of them friending you on Facebook. Awesome.

It is important for the Zenish to build character, so therefore we must practice positive traits each day. Today, I will do my work honestly. Of course, honesty is a relative thing.

My understanding, if one can call it that, is that the Rapture will occur this coming Saturday. In honor of the Rapture, on Saturday night all bottled beers and mixed drinks will be half price at the Zenish Good Time Happy Fun Hour Bar and Lyndon Johnson Memorial Pool Hall. If there is no Rapture the breakfast buffet on Sunday will be free!

Stay focused on the path and...do I smell bacon?

The raft that carries you across the water to the far shore need not be clung to. Once you are on land, cast away the raft. It was filled with people who smelled bad and would not share a stick of gum, yet complained about your coffee breath.

There is pleasure and there is bliss. Forgo the first to possess the second. Or is it forgo the second to possess the first. Or am I supposed to forgo taking ecstasy to achieve total happiness? Where are my memory pills? Can't remember where I left them. Where am I?

Believe it and you will see it. But don't believe everything you see, and only half of what you hear.

Yesterday, I found the path to enlightenment. I felt immense joy in the fact that I was going to share this information with the world, and then there would be global peace and harmony. Unfortunately, yesterday and earlier today, Blogger was having some issues and writers couldn't post anything on their blogs. I forgot to make notes on how to become enlightened, thinking I would just remember it and post it when Blogger was working again. But I have a terrible memory. So now I've forgotten everything and I'm back to being just another unenlightened schlub living in an unenlightened world. Sorry.

All things are impermanent. Except permanent marker. You make a mark with that, it lasts forever and a day.

The effort of no effort is a great effort. That's why I never make an effort. Ah...I have attained Zenishness.

Without our doing anything spring arrives, bringing the allergens that line the path to suffering; such are the days of the Zenish.

The Tibetan poet Milarepa said, "Do not entertain hopes for realization, but practice all your life." Kind of how the Cubs look at their chances of ever being in the World Series.

The world is ruled by letting things take their course. That's better than me actually having to do something.

A flower falls, even though we love it; a weed grows, even though we do not love it; a squirrel digs in my garden, even though I fire at it with a high-powered rifle.

Suffering is caused by the destruction of life, and this destruction should be abstained from. The Zenish "religion" does make some exceptions as to when a life can be taken, and I think that exception is getting reacquainted with old friends and making new ones in hell by now.

The cessation of suffering is attainable. See your doctor for a prescription. Side effects may include, but not be limited to, sneezing, coughing, rectal bleeding, malaria, and hives. If an erection lasts more than 4 hours but less than 10, a trip to the emergency room is your call. Try the veal. Drive safely.

He who wants nothing from this world, and nothing from the next, he is free. He is also probably naked, starving, and homeless.

We shape clay into a pot, but we really want to shape the clay into enlightenment. We don't have the schematics on enlightenment, so we just keep making pots.

Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace. Those who inspire hateful thoughts surely better enjoy eternal heat. - Buddha?

"The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground". - Buddha

Uhmmm...what?