Being kind may be more important than being right, but if you can be right about something and rub in the other person's face in such a way that they hardly realize it until much later when you're too far away for them to hurt you, well, then you've got something going on.

That bright, shining orb, that fireball in the sky, so strange, yet so familiar...surely, all the days of every Buddha have passed and finally we have come to our end...oh, wait, that's just the sun. Been so long, forgot what it looks like.

To become Zenish means learning to see what is in front of you. Like that car stopped at the red light. You do not wish to become one with it.

Living in a Zenish paradox: It can be more tiring to do nothing at all than to do very little.

Be aware of your body. Yes, it's that thing sitting there at the far end of the couch. Right, the thing with the TV remote control in it's hand. Yes, that's right, that's your body. Be aware of it. You never know what it's not going to do.

It's kind of fun to do the impossible. - Walt Disney

It's kind fun-ish to do the possible. - Zenish philosophy

Each Easter Sunday, the ancient tradition is carried on. The Easter Bunny rises from his crypt, hitches up the reindeer to the Bunnymobile (really just an old sleigh bought at a flea market in New Hampshire) and flies to the Zenish monastery. Landing on the broad, green expanse of the front lawn, Big B (as the Easter Bunny likes to be called), hops out of the sleigh and sets to work. Carrying a giant, heavy sack over his shoulder, the Easter Bunny bounces around the monastery grounds and hides fried terducken wherever he can. When this is done, Big B climbs back on to the Bunnymobile, and, shouting, "Fly away, fly away all!" lifts off into the air, leaving nothing but the smell of sweaty reindeer in his wake.

Later, wired on caffeine and jelly bird eggs and armed to the teeth, all the monks and monks in training run throughout the area, shooting at anything that remotely resembles a terducken. There's no need to actually shoot the terducken, since they're already quite dead, but the monks enjoy firing their pistols and rifles. After a while, all the terducken, or what's left of it after being hit by numerous rounds from high powered firearms, is collected and feasted upon, washed down by bathtub gin, and a happy Easter is enjoyed by all.

When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. When the mind is impure, you will have uninvited house guests that never leave.

We all share the same desire for happiness. We just don't want our friends to be too much more happy than we are. Slightly less happy would be best really. But not sad. If they were too sad they would be a bummer to hang around.

The only quiet place is inside your soul. Except for my soul. Lots of screaming in there. Hey! Pipe down, I'm bloggin' here!

Per the Dalai Lama, we must all recognize the great capacity we have within. My great capacity is to eat my weight in sugar products on a daily basis.

Mushin. The state of no mind. Huh...hmmmn...I think I'm already there, padre.

No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place, unless it's the middle of freakin' April, in which case anywhere those damn snowflakes fall is the wrong freakin' place.

That is all. Peace out.

Those who know do not blog; those who blog do not know.

One of the Four Zenish Happinesses is to have brunch on the weekend.

What happens if you attach the Wheel of Life to the Car of Death?

The acquisition of worldly things will bring some happiness. Unless you have so many worldly things that you can't really move freely in your house anymore and your family and friends have to stage an intervention which is recorded for that cable show about hoarders so all the world can see what a nut job you are.

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, but if you have a couple of really good lights, you won't need all those freakin' candles.

Appreciate the sun, breathe deep the cool spring air, feel the glory of your mediocrity: that is Zenishness.

According to the Zenish calendar, the second Monday in April is Irish-up Your Coffee Day.

Random koan:

I was twenty minutes late to meet my wife for lunch.

"Why are you so late?" she asked.

"I'm not late," I replied. "I'm on Zenish time."

She stood and punched me in the nose.

"Thank you." I wiped the blood from my face, smiled and said, "Let us eat now."

Ancient Zen proverb: The instant you speak about a thing, you miss the mark.

Our Congressmen prove that every day.

It's Buddha's birthday today, maybe, depending on what you choose to believe. So, just what do you get the deity that has everything?

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. Two words can sometimes cause a fistfight.

The road to Zenishness is paved with lowered expectations.

Try not, fail not.

Zenish thinking on money: Save a little, spend a little, send a little directly to me.

To think clearly, you must first clear the mind. Just don't erase anything permanently.

Live simply, laugh loudly, love fully, drink heavily.

Three Treasures, Four Noble Truths, Five Precepts, Eightfold Path. That’s a lot of numbers that add up to a lot of reading. We Zenish don’t much like reading none, least not when The Price is Right is on. Heck, there’s only Ten Commandments, and those are all one-liners. I think. Anyway, a one-liner sounds good. Brevity is the soul of Zenishness. So, let’s sum all that noble precept stuff up in to one Big Helpful Hint On How to Live:

Don’t be a dickhead.

Four simple words (five if you’re anti-contraction) that should get you through life relatively smoothly.